Yeah?

Was going to write something all profound for this space. Instead I've put the Cardiacs on and I'm just going to see where this post takes, trying to imitate Kerouac I suppose.

  He woke up, looked around, trying to hold onto the bed hoping the bed would stop spinning. The sun was casting a sickly yellow glow around the room. He could see where the damp was rising up the wall, a race against the peeling wallpaper making its way down the wall. The carpet was rising in the corners, the TV blaring in the corner, must have left it on last night.
  Standing up, legs shaking. Looking for a gown, pulling on its tattered remains, longing to be anywhere but here. Fighting everyday and never winning, always fighting. Life was a battleground, your too lose or forever spend in the trenches. A bloody battle in which all sides lose, no victories can ever be permanent. Walking to the door, never mind leaving was always a challenge. Outside was better left outside. People everywhere, scuttling about. Talking, chattering nonsense. Was it of any importance?
  Fighting and jostling for position. Always in despair that they are not richer. Losing everyday. Death surrounding all. Always racing, yet never finishing. Rushing, battling for position. Still it was nearing time to leave the room. Join them in a sickly dance. The sun was nauseas.
  Finding cords and putting them on, he opened the door. Bathed in light. Fighting with the key to lock the door, wondering why to lock the door as there was no possessions of any value to be secured. Keeping the world out of his sanctuary, was the most important practice. His religious sanctity had to be preserved.
  Walking down the street, avoiding the cracks. Roots of trees pushing up areas of the tarmac, searching for nourishment, seeking life. Needing the energy to survive. It was all a fight. Tripping over, he swore at the ground, then feeling embarrassed he continued. Avoiding the people, eyes downcast so as to avoid  everyone. The solitary walk, fighting the urge to run and be done. Walking on and on, the sun baking his skin, turning it to leather. Finally he was done.

School

The best days of your life?

Really?

Desire

Fire,

burning desire.

Lighting my soul.

Burning remnants

of hope.

Love Story 2

She was still lying beside me in the morning. I wondered how much more she would put up with? I got up and went to brush my teeth, I was sure I could feel even the bacteria in my mouth dying. I got back into bed.

No need to get up yet. She rolled over and asked 'Do you love me', I wanted to reply 'Of course not', instead I replied 'Of course'. She smiled, that sickly sweet smile of death she had. I marvelled at the way the light shined off her pale blue eyes, eyes you could drown in, big puppy eyes. She straddled me. I gave it my best shot, I could tell she was disappointed.

I don't know what she wanted or expected though. I hoped she would go out, all I wanted to do was sit in the bath and read. I knew if I started to run a bath she would want to get in beside me. I needed to be alone but she followed me everywhere, I was slowly suffocating in her web. I wanted to go to a bar and meet more interesting

women, that would just lead to a fight. I told her I was going for a walk, 'I'll come too it'll be nice and romantic'. 'It’s only to the shop'. 'That's ok'. This was going to be a long day.

To Be Truly Free

                                                          Death

The Spider

The spider runs,

here and there.

The glass burns

here and there.

Still it runs,

here and there.

The Word

He was the truth, he was the word. A vibrating ball of energy.

Apologies

Writing apologies,

plotting demises,

missing desires.

Wanting approval.

Anarchy

                            1        Black                Police

                            1        flags,    Witho   state v   y cond

                            1        liber-    ut free   iolenc   emn us

                            1        ateus.   dom li   e. The   all. No

                            1                    fe dies                power.

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

                            1

Deny

R

e

howtruelifelives.

i

g

i

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n

d

e

n

i

e

s

The Ex

I heard

a new flat

and engaged.

That was quick.